When it comes to relationships, there are definite rules that should be met if you want to deepen your connection. With everything in the media, we can easily forget what is important in a relationship and what isn’t; we might focus on apparent features of the other person such, as how much money they have to spend on you or how sexy their body is. Although having money and being gorgeous are both good qualities in a partner, a relationship isn’t all about superficial things.
Below are some rules that can help deepen your relationship:
1. Be Real
It seems like common sense, but we tend to shape ourselves based on the other person. Since we want to impress the other person, we may do things or say things that we usually wouldn’t. Being real will help determine if the two of you are a good match. Wouldn’t you rather find out now if it’s worth your time instead of spending years of your time and energy? Be real with the other person. Show them the real you, not the fake you.
2. No Games
This rule is connected to the first rule of being real. When it comes to a relationship, you can either play around or invest yourself in deepening the relationship. When you play games, your relationship will most likely fall apart. Why invest your heart into the other person, when the other person is all about playing games? This will result in dishonesty, lack of trust and arguments later down in your relationship. When it comes to strengthening a relationship, it’s vital to develop trust, honesty, effective communication and commitment.
3. Knowing and understanding the difference between men and women
This rule is very important when establishing a relationship. Men and women are born differently and sensitively, we tend to have different characteristics. Most men enjoy their alone time when they are tense and anxious, whereas many women enjoy talking out our feelings so that we can let them out. When you don’t recognize the differences between men and women, you may hit heads and become aggravated. Ultimately, you might just give up because you don’t know what else to do. When you’re able to appreciate the differences, you will better understand your partner and thus be able to strengthen and deepen your relationship. I extremely recommend reading the book, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” by John Gray. He has helped me in my marriage in understanding more about myself and my husband.
4. Know your partner’s love language
When you are in a committed relationship, it’s important to understand the way they feel love, and how they communicate it. When you understand your partner’s love language, you will be able to speak their language. It’s also just as important in knowing your own love language. How do you feel most loved? Maybe it’s through spending quality time together, or by physical touch. A lot of couples lack intimacy and love because they are speaking different love languages to their partner. Once you’re able to speak smoothly in your partner’s love language, you’ll be back on track of developing and deepening your relationship.
5. Effective communication
This goes back to the rule of knowing and understanding the difference between men and women. When you can understand your partner, you’ll be able to speak efficiently with them. Men and women react to tension and life differently, and since women tend to express more of their feelings and enjoy talking in order to solve problems, they expect their partner to also talk and share their emotions. Learning how to be an efficient communicator with your partner will help strengthen your relationship.
6. Turn off the TV
There is nothing wrong with watching TV with your partner every so often, but when it gets to a point where you are finding yourself always watching it after work; you will form a bad habit that will be difficult to break. Once you allow TV to be part of your relationship, how can you possibly develop greater understanding? Turn off the television and do something fun! Go outside and ride a bike together or even just sit down on the couch and play a board game. Whatever the two of you enjoy doing is a much better habit to form than sitting and watching television. Nourish your relationship!
7. Take care of yourself
When it comes to being in a relationship, we can sometimes focus so much of our energy and time towards the other person that we forget about taking care of ourselves. Make sure that you take the time to focus on developing your own mind, body and soul. Don’t let go of who you are just because you’re in a relationship. Continue to love, respect and extend yourself.
8. Be honesty
If you are planning on investing your time and energy into your relationship, being honest is a core rule. When there is no honesty, you will establish a weak foundation and ultimately things will fall apart. Being honest and honest will help establish a strong foundation in your partnership.
9. United Front
When you and your partner are out in public, keeping a united front will help to reinforce your relationship. Who wants to hear all your dirty laundry and on top of that seeing the two of you differ? It not only expresses to others the type of connection that you two have but will also cause problems within your relationship. Keeping a united front means you will work as a team and never embarrass your partner when out in public, as doing so will make your partner uncomfortable and will create anger. commend to having a united front so no matter what comes your way, you’ll know that you can get through it together.
10. Show your appreciation
All of us want to be respected with what we do, particularly in our relationships. Showing our appreciation for what your partner does will help deepen the connection between the two of you. Imagine if your partner expresses their love but you never show your appreciation. What will happen? Your partner will ultimately not want to convey his love because he doesn’t feel that it makes any difference. When you are able to recognize what they do, they will feel more aggravated to continue loving you and supporting you. Once you take their love for granted, they will eventually stop loving you. Express your admiration every day, even a small sign such as thanking him for coming home early so that the two of you can have a nice dinner together. Whatever it may be, show your appreciation and love that you have for your partner. Trust me, they will feel motivated to continue loving you and supporting you.
11. Create Fulfilling Routines
It seems like as the days go, our relationships get pressed from the foreground to the back burner while daily life stresses take preference. When we create fulfilling routines in our relationship, we are able to reconnect with what made us fall in love with our partners in the first place. A rewarding routine can be as simple as always going to bed at the same time and waking up early at the time same. This may be challenging, but when you commit to sleeping at the same time and waking up at the same time, you can spend some quality time before starting the day and before you go to bed at night. Another satisfying routine would be to walk together in the mornings. Creating fulfilling routines are meant to reconnect with your partner, especially if the both of you have busy schedules.
12. Formal/ informal Dates
A great way to add more flavor into your relationship is to go out on date nights. It doesn’t even have to be at night, it can be at any time of day. As we go through life, we can easily forget about what brought us together. What do you enjoy doing with your partner? There are informal dates like staying at home and cooking together or you can have more of a formal date like getting all dressed up and going out to eat, or going for a hike and a picnic. The point behind this rule is to reconnect with your partner. Don’t talk about bills or life tensions on your date: just be free and have fun. Smile, laugh and enjoy your partner’s company.
13. Grow together
Couples often grow apart, which leads them to a point in their relationship in which they don’t feel that it’s worth investing any more time in. Be awareness and sympathetic of what your partner wants to realize. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget to truly stay connected with what our partner wants to achieve.
14. Be patient
Sometimes our partners make mistakes and we automatically get upset or irritated. It’s important for you to be patient and encouraging rather than being negative and critical. You partner wants you help, but it’s how you approach the situation that makes a difference. When you’re patient, it encourages your partner to want to change with your help.
15. Be on the page same with finances
If you have a joint account or share your finances, make sure that both of you have a similar philosophy when it comes to money. The #1 cause for divorce is financial issues. Learn to be open when it comes to talking about money and how the both of you can best work as a team. Practice effectual communication and have financial goals set in place, and focus on what matters to the both of you. Maybe you both enjoy going to the Bahamas every other year, or maybe you enjoy giving lavish Christmas gifts. Set aside a fund that you build throughout the year, so when Christmas time comes along or flights go on sale, you can use the build in your fund accordingly. Be a united front with your finances and communicate effectively.
These rules should be looked at as a stepping stone for mounting your relationship, and are meant to help establish a strong foundation between you and your partner. We all have faults and mistakes, but when we can follow these rules in our relationship, we will better understand our partner and also ourselves. When you’re in a relationship, not only do you develop the connection with your partner but you also connect deeper within yourself. You grow just as much as your relationship grows. Be an inspiration for your partner: motivate them, challenge them to reach their fullest potential, and the end of the day, be happy.