The healthiest of habits
A relationship is formed when two people come together and communicate their feelings for one another. Believe it or not, this is really the easy part. The hardest part is to truly help in making the relationship grow and develop.
Think of it as a bond which holds two people together. The bond can be tightened or loosened; it all depends on what you do. If you don’t love, care and respect each other, the bond is broken. People are sometimes left puzzled over how things could ever go south.
I mean, it all starts off so well and then one day it’s all over. That’s the thing about relationships. They’re delicate and it only takes one or a few mistakes to break years of effort and hard work. Some people don’t even worry from the start, yet some people put in their everything. That’s the confusing part.
Two different individuals who put in different efforts, ended up in the same place. How? The answer lies with people who have a stronger bond. You might have thought that your relationship was perfect. However, it turned out not to be. People, who have been together for years and are still going strong, might have the answer to this.
Often people protest about how they have lost that attraction that they used to have in the beginning of the relationship. How they did even the smallest things for each other. It is pretty easy to do stuff for your partner, to make them feel special, initially.
You are in love and in that initial phase you would do entirely anything to make your partner happy. As I’ve mentioned earlier, starting a relationship is actually the easiest part. It might sound hard to someone who has feelings for a person because mustering up the guts to express those feelings seems impossibly right now.
The truth is that it’s nothing compared to keeping those feelings alive and consistent. In the start, we’re just getting to know one another. Sure, you’ll know plenty about them before hand, yet you’ll be surprised as to how much more you’ll learn later on.
It’s because you two are now living a life which practically revolves around one another. This leads to so many problems because sometimes we get sick of it. Let’s face it, who’s like us? Only ourselves. Not everyone will share every single like or dislike as us.
Our partner isn’t obliged to support our decisions in every matter. Maybe we’re in the wrong or maybe them. The point is that they can’t completely mold themselves to our lives. They’re their own people.
Times become harder when you become so used to your partner and to having them with you that you automatically start taking things in an informal way like you don’t need to do anything to further prove your love to them, whereas, that is the true test of love and partnership. That’s the real deal, when you are out of that honeymoon phase and have to maintain things.
The glow might dim as you realize that there’s so much work to be done, if they’re in a bad mood. They aren’t just going to get out of it on their own. Literally, and I mean make this your mantra, do not leave your partner to move violently with whatever it is they’re struggling with on their own. Even if they say that they’ll handle it themselves, try to be involved in some way.
Caring for your partner should be your first responsibility towards them. Remember all those feelings you had for them in the start? Yeah, well you need to remind yourself of those.
Here are a few habits that they shared with us and we would want to share with you. All these habits were found in all of the couples that were asked. At first glimpse, it might seem really cliché and you would probably think to yourself, ‘I know this, and tell me something new’. However, you’re here reading this for a reason.
You wanted the best tips and here they are. Even if they’re cliché, they’re what you need. You might have read them before, but you never actually practiced on them or maybe you did but not for long. See, that’s the problem. People forget to be consistent.
Really, throughout this article, I cannot stress enough on the importance of reliability in a relationship. So, without further ado, here are the four ways to keep your relationship going strong:
1. NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE
Though it seems like such a small thing but letting your partner feel that even if you are running late, giving them a goodbye kiss is more important. That ‘kissing them goodbye’ is an important part of their life and nothing can replace that, and it makes their day and that happiness stays with them throughout.
It makes them feel like you can’t go without them knowing how much you mean to them. Whether either of you are working or just one of you, the point is that you two have stressed on the importance of not leaving without saying goodbye. You might be in a hurry and I get that, but how long will it take for you to say goodbye? What would it possibly cost you to do this? There are people who start something like this.
It’s not closely a rule to do this, but some people do. The problem is that ultimately they forget. Once they forget it for a few weeks, there’ll come a time when they do remember it but rather not because now they feel like it is okay. Since it isn’t a necessary law, your partner might feel silly to remind you of it. It isn’t so much so about the actual sign, it is really about the meaning behind it.
If you don’t do this then it doesn’t mean that you have to particularly start this exact thing right now. You two might have something similar. Bottom line, make your partner feel special and remembered.
2. TAKING OUT ONE-ON-ONE TIME FOR EACH OTHER, DAILY
It is a must that you both bond with each other on a daily basis. Ask them how their day went and tell them about yours. Make each other a part of those times of the day, where they could not be present. Couples often take this very relaxed but let me tell you, this habit exclusively has the power to make or break a relationship.
Your day might not have been exciting at all. It might have been exactly like it was yesterday; the point is not to over exaggerate a situation just to keep a conversation going. If you two have a loving relationship then it will be an exciting story to tell, even if it’s about paperclips. Trust me, you don’t have to blow anything out of proportions, just tell them.
Don’t think that it is okay if you didn’t get this one-on-one time with them today and that you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow changes into the day after and soon that changes into next week and before you know it, you have no clue of what’s happening in each other’s lives. That’s when you have drifted too far away. So, do you see how important it is to talk to each other?
What’s even more important is to let your partner speak about whatever is on their mind. A conversation on the most trivial of things can quickly escalate to one where you find out something new about them.
You don’t have to memorize everything that they say, just remember the parts which involve them in a more than casual manner. It means a lot to them if they ever start a conversation about something they’ve already talked about and you know what it is. Let there always be time to talk to each other.
A relationship is all about the little gestures. Grand gestures can sometimes be very important as well but at the end of the day it’s all about steadiness. How you care about them regularly when you’re not even in the mood to. That is what true love is all about.
3. SAYING ˜I LOVE YOU’
There is no wrong way of saying this. Every time you say it, even after many years, they will still mean the same; they will still make your partner feel special. In a relationship, people often develop various complexes like they are not delightful or not good enough. To save your partner from feeling that way and moving away from you, you need to repeatedly reassure your partner with these simple words.
It starts off with you two saying it almost all of the time and before you know it; it goes to a point where you two feel uncomfortable saying it. I admit that a relationship which has gone on for years ultimately feels like you two don’t need to put in any more effort. However, that is wrong because there can never be such a thing as too much growth in a relationship.
Keep reminding them of how much you love and adore them. Make sure to keep those moments alive when the day is only about you two. We are so busy in our lives nowadays that we have completely removed the thought of keeping a relationship alive and strong. Everything seems like a responsibility to us.
Responsibilities are something everyone would like to avoid. I won’t tell you to avoid this, but instead to rethink your perspective on this. Stop treating it like a chore. Start treating it as your part in the relationship.
4. SURPRISING EACH OTHER
Now I don’t mean that you need to get each other expensive gifts and throw dinners but surprising them with a kiss on their cheek or holding them close and telling them how they make you fall in love more and more, with every passing day. The way surprises say, ˜I love you’, nothing else does! Little surprises keep the sparks going in the relationship. Like a brand new couple.
Every day is a new day even if you don’t think so. Today is not like tomorrow, neither is it like yesterday. There are a lot of changes and that means a lot more moments for us to make changes. You can do whatever it is that you want to in respect of making your partner feel loved and not think of it as something old or cliché. No effort is thought of as inadequate. Have you never heard about the fact that the thought counts?
This doesn’t mean that whatever you have to do remains as a thought. It means that even if you think you screwed up, you put in an effort and your partner sees that. They’ll appreciate it and they’ll appreciate you. Your relationship is and is not supposed to go like clockwork. I did stress on consistency, however, consistency has to be positive. You two shouldn’t always have a dull or a sad day. Make the relationship feel like the best thing in the world.
A loving and a healthy relationship is not about doing extremely great things, it is more about being consistent. It isn’t about the big steps you take in life-like buying a house together or moving in together, planning surprises or going on vacations, it is more about doing the usual, daily, ordinary activities. Keeping up with them and giving them due respect. I cannot stress enough on the importance of the little things we do in a relationship, such as; remembering a few important dates.
I’ve seen couples fight so very often on how one partner forgot a specific date which obviously meant something to the other. This might all seem so very stupid or meaningless to a lot of people. I mean, it’s just a date, right? Wrong. It’s the meaning behind the date. Yes, it might all sound so very clich. However, even if you aren’t exactly as concerned about the date as your partner, you know that they are so putting in an effort wouldn’t harm you. There are a lot of other examples to give, but you get the gist of it.
The little things matter to create a consistently happy relationship. I’m not saying that even the apparently happiest couples won’t have their bad days. The point is that they know how to overcome those days and focus on what makes them so strong and kept them going on.
So if you truly want your relationship to maintain that honeymoon phase, you can really do it. If you really want something, nothing can stop you from attaining it, may it be work, finances, family, friends or anything.
No one enters a relationship to have their hearts broken later on. They enter it because what they felt for one another was strong and they felt like it was strong enough to overcome so many things. If you truly love your partner and if they truly love you, they won’t hesitate to make the relationship grow and develop. People say that, overtime, two people start feeling like an old couple.
I think that they should stay together no matter what anyone says. People will always try to bring other people down because of some reason or the other. You need to keep your relationship between you and your partner and not the entire world. By the way, the whole point was to grow old together, right?
We observed a few couples all in different phases of the relationship and we came down to this observation that along with the big milestones in their relationships, they also kept on maintaining a few habits, some cute, some really special, some utterly funny and some classic. But the common thing was that they were consistent in doing them. They kept their love alive.
They might have had kids etc. and their focus might have been shifted from 100% to 20%, but they never let their love go down. That’s the thing; their bond was stronger than anything because they trusted each other to do what’s right. You can’t ignore your relationship as nothing. You can’t hide things. You can’t lose faith. You need to realize that this is their life as well as your own.